


Dear John

by dearjayycee



Series: I'm i never gunna finish these (Works up for Adoption) [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean falls in love and doesn't know Cas is a man until later, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Military, Military Dean Winchester, Pen Pals, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secret Identity, Service Dogs, Torture, War, Writer Castiel (Supernatural), Writers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26379409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearjayycee/pseuds/dearjayycee
Summary: Dear John,I suppose I should start this letter by saying that I support the troops and that I appreciate what you are doing for this country. Though I must admit the reason I am writing this letter isn’t to talk about our mutual patriotism.I am assuming it’s for someone to talk to, someone to lend an ear. That’s at least what I’m hoping for. Someone to write to who will write back in return. No judgment just words.Anyways, I hope you are doing okay and that all is well where you are stationed. And I hope all is well with you and your brothers and sisters in arms.I think it’s time for me to go, I have just come to the conclusion that that was defiantly rambling. And nobody likes a rambler. Or so I have heard.P.s. I am not assuming your name is John.Sincerely,Castiel Novak----Military!Dean & Writer!Castiel
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: I'm i never gunna finish these (Works up for Adoption) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1494713
Kudos: 8





	Dear John

##  **This plot idea contains: War, Homophobia, PTSD, Torture.**

**Angst Level: 7/10**

**Happy Ending**

****Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel** **

**Please also note that this plot idea and the short written section were done when I was much younger and I am posting them exactly like I wrote them at the time. There will be spelling/grammar mistakes, rambling, and sections that might not convey the sensitive nature of this topic. I have grown a lot since I wrote this and know I am sorry if anything in them upsets you.**

**PLOT:**

Food:

  * A Ration-Has fresh food, used at base camp for meals
  * B Ration-Canned food prepared in a field kitchen.
  * MRE “meal, ready-to-eat”-Field ration used during combat and field conditions where organized food facilities are not available (contains Tabasco sauce, also includes some kind of dessert, candy, chocolate)
  * Chipped beef on toast-“Shit On a Shingle” (SOS)—or, “Stew On a Shingle”, “Same Old Stuff”, “Something On a Shingle”, or occasionally “Save Our Stomachs”
  * First Strike Ration (FSR)- Can be eaten on the move
  * Dining in-formal military ceremony
  * “Fuck, I am so happy to be back at base, you never realize how much you are going to miss A rations until you’re stuck in the field with B. “ (someone other than dean and Benny said)



Dean’s Background:

  * Dean is a corporal who bunks with his fireteam. Benny, Garth, Jo (not with Jo in the bunk). (Charlie and Ash are in Intel)


  * This is the 3rd 15-month enlistment Dean has done. But this will be when Sam’s headed to Stanford and Dean is afraid Sam won’t have time to write him so he joins the pen pal system to have someone to talk to without worrying about judgment from his dad.


  * The camp that they are at is named Kaia



Castiel’s Background: 

  * His family is like the Duggars in that there are a shit ton of children. To the point that Cas at about 25 has a newborn sister and he isn’t even the oldest. 
  * Cas broke from his family when he realized he was Bi (is actually Pan) after seeing Lucifer (Micheal’s younger Twin) having sex with a boy. And their parent’s homophobia. 
  * All of his brother’s and Sisters are named after Angels in Christian Theology. 
  * Castiel doesn’t know or care if there is or is not a god, he just lives his life to what he thinks will make him happiest.
  * He does a lot of community service and charity work. 



During war:

  * Dean is stationed in Afghanistan.
  * Dean gets hit by a bomb, and Castiel's handprint is a scar from either the blast or shrapnel.
  * Dean fixes a stalled tank.
  * Dean patrols peaceful cities, getting to know the locals. He teaches the kids how to play soccer.
  * John dies while Dean is on a long mission and so he misses the funeral and doesn’t know until months after his death.
  * Dean gets captured and tortured for information which he doesn’t give up. He is saved and given the POW medal for it. He develops PTSD. Castiel finally says “Dean you’re sick, you need help. Please…just go…” talking about therapy



Dean and Benny:

  * After Dean finds out that Cas is a man before he decides he is okay with it benny asks “How’s the Cas thing?” Dean replies “FUBAR”



Dean and Charlie:

  * Dean protects Charlie from dicks bags like a big brother


  * Charlie gathers intelligence


  * Dean and Charlie go to the formal dinner together.



Leave time:

  * LES- a paper given monthly to document pay and leave status
  * Leave is 2.5 days a month.
  * Sometimes dean doesn’t have time to get back to the US so he goes to other counties and picks up stuff sam would like and sends it to him.
  * He goes to Stanford but he knows he will only have 10 hours before he has to go back, he and Sam spend it together, Sam talking most of the time about the girl he met, Jessica, and Dean is happy for him. Happy to just be back in his brother’s company so he doesn’t even care that his brother is gushing.
  * Dean goes and buys all of Castiel’s books, he brings them back with him and starts reading. Not skipping to the back cover to find out what cas looks like because he wants to be surprised. After reading he is sure he is in love. When he looks at the back cover he is surprised.. and a little disappointed at first. But then he rereads all his letters from Cas and finds it doesn’t matter that he’s a man. Says something like, “



Ending:

  * Castiel meets dean in the airport after he is honorably discharged after he is tortured. He just squashes Cas in a hug and tells him he loves him.
  * They move in together because after John died he sold the house so that he could help pay for Sams college and Castiel offers to allow dean to live with him. Dean says not permanently. But it ends up forever



**STORY:**

For all of John Winchester’s faults, nobody could ever say he didn’t love his sons. After all his complaining and glaring he was now standing before Dean, sending his son off. Sure, he had been a little heartbroken when Dean had come to him saying he had enlisted and that it hadn’t been with the Marines, but he knew his son well enough to know he wasn’t a fish out of water.

He never had felt as proud of Dean as he did now. Feet tight together (despite his bowlegs), back straight, and stiffly saluting to his father. John returned the gesture before muttering, “at ease, private.” Then pulling his son into a crushing hug. Sam stood next to them watching this exchange with teary eyes before placing a hand on his dad’s shoulder and taking his place.

“I’m going to miss you,” he buried his face into his brother’s chest, trying his best to will away tears that were on the edge of spilling over. He had to be strong for Dean.

“I’m going to miss you too, Sammy,” Dean clung to him just as strong. He was never one for hugs but he was about to leave home for fifteen months. Screw this being a chick flick moment.

They pulled apart and Dean boarded his plane. Throwing one last glance at the airport from his seat before trying his best to zone out what was about to be almost a sixteen-hour flight. God, he hated flying.

———

This was the third time Dean had enlisted to go to Afghanistan. The only difference to this departure was that this time Sam wasn’t here.

He had already taken a flight a few weeks ago to head to Stanford. This time Dean had to watch his brother leave, had to feel that aching need to just reach out and say don’t go. But Dean wanted him to be able to go out and follow his dream so he just waved him off saying, “don’t let me catch you around these parts anytime soon.”

Dean stood once again saluting his father, which was returned but this time followed by, “at ease, corporal.” And for some reason he broke down just a little, posture wavering into a small slump of his shoulders.

They hugged, as awkward as ever. So much had changed, but two things remained constant, his father’s inability to give relaxed hugs and his disdain for flying.

———

“The name’s Benny,” a Louisiana accent and outstretched hand greeted him as he walked into his room. It was small, with two bunk beds, two wardrobes and a desk squished into the tiny space. He had been promoted to Corporal and he now had his own fireteam, he had yet to meet the new private but he assumed this was the same person.

“Corporal Dean Winchester,” Dean grasped the hand putting just enough bite into the shake. He was still riding a high of being promoted and no longer being the bottom of the totem pole. But he had chosen to still sleep with his team, so here he was.

“Sorry, Private Benny Lafitte,” he didn’t go pink with embarrassment so Dean let up.

“So does this make me Forrest Gump?”

“How’s your table tennis?” They both broke out into laughter, before settling and waiting for their other two roommates.

Garth was a tall, lanky, man with an odd handsomeness to him. His sense of humor wasn’t the best but he was a good guy so Dean didn’t mind much, he had already known him since his last enlistment. And then there was Ash who placed a picture of himself with a mullet above the desk first thing when he walked in the door, whispering, “I miss you baby.” But Dean found out he was a genius within two minutes of talking to him, he would probably be working with Charlie on the intelligence team. Dean silently wished him good luck. Because that was one place that was probably the hardest to be on base. Really the safety of everyone and the surrounding villages laid heavily on their shoulders and their ability to find out information.

———

“So you’re going to sign up for the pen pal program this year Corporal Winchester?” Private Tran was a nice kid, a bit too formal, but nice. Every year since he enlisted he volunteered to run the mailroom. Dean wasn’t sure why but to each his own. They talked often when Dean came to pick up his mail and the kid was good about making sure everyone had someone to talk to regularly.

“Yes, Private Tran,” Dean stood in his formal wear looking around the room at all the letters both waiting to be picked up and waiting to be sent out. Dean had been worried that Sam wouldn’t have time to write now that he was at Stanford and he needed someone to talk to who wasn’t his father, even though he loved the man. So here he was.

Kevin pulled a small bag from under the counter motioning for Dean to pull a letter out. He pulled out a plain envelope with neat handwriting and a P.O. Box address. This would do.

“Thank you, Private Tran.” Dean turned on his heel leaving the room.

“You’re welcome, Corporal Winchester,” Tran called just as Dean was out of earshot.

Dean made his way back to his bunk, everyone else was eating lunch but Dean wasn’t feeling it after the patrol they went on today. There had been a mother crying for their help and Dean had tried his best to save her son but it was too late. He was gone by the time they arrived at her home, he had been stabbed and had lost too much blood.

He had bowed his head, telling her he was sorry for her loose in Pashto, one of the few things he knew how to say. He hated that it was something he had to know to say in so many languages. 

She had broken down, falling to her knees, weeping openly. He kneeled down, quickly saying that he would do his best to find who did it. She barely registered the words through her tears. Dean stood and left the house meeting with the team outside to finish their patrol.

This happened too often. Always broke Dean a little inside. He had tried to hard to harden his heart. But he couldn’t. Couldn’t help but imagine every person he saw die as Sam.

The longer he was in the army the longer he wanted out. He wanted to stop seeing all the pain and suffering. Wanted to be able to close his eyes to it like most of the people back home did. They thought they knew how bad it was but they never did. Dean honestly hadn’t known what he was getting into until he arrived in Afghanistan; he had had idealistic, childish, thoughts of serving his country. 

He wanted out but every time he thought it was his last enlistment he was drawn back in, he realized he had nothing else to do. No hopes back home.

So he stayed, signed up again. He loved everyone he had met, and what they do for the most part. But the heartbreaking part was being on the front lines, never knowing who was going to die. 

———

_Dear John,_

_I suppose I should start this letter by saying that I support the troops and that I appreciate what you are doing for this country. Though I must admit the reason I am writing this letter isn’t to talk about our mutual patriotism._

_I am assuming it’s for someone to talk to, someone to lend an ear. That’s at least what I’m hoping for. Someone to write to who will write back in return. No judgment just words._

_Anyways, I hope you are doing okay and that all is well where you are stationed. And I hope all is well with you and your brothers and sisters in arms._

_I think it’s time for me to go, I have just come to the conclusion that that was defiantly rambling. And nobody likes a rambler. Or so I have heard._

_P.s. I am not assuming your name is John._

_Sincerely,_

_Castiel Novak_

———

Dean and Benny were walking towards the mess hall to have dinner when Dean caught site of what would be on the menu for tonight. They walked to the table where Garth, Ash, Jo, and Charlie were already picking at their food if you could even call it that.

“Shit…I see today we are having SOS,” Dean couldn’t even stop the groan that left his lips.

Benny looked confused, “SOS?” The sadist in Dean couldn’t help but be excited to see the look on the rookies face when he tried his dinner.

But Jo was too nice and warned him, “shit on a shingle,” she just continued to stare at her food like it had murdered her puppy.

“It’s stew on a shingle, Joanna Beth,” Ash corrected, but Dean knew he was asking for it.

“If you call me that one more time I will shoot you.” There was no anger in her voice, Jo stated it like it was a fact.

“Same old stuff,” Charlie mumbled through her food.

“It’s…something…on a shingle…” Garth said as the food slid off his fork plopping in the gravy.

Dean just looked at them with sympathy, “All I can say is, save our stomachs,” before grimacing and leading Benny to go get their food.

“It can’t be that bad.” Poor, naïve, Benny.

Dean shook his head knowing what carnage is about to come. He had realized that Private Laffite was a foodie within one meal of being with him when he had complained about the quality of the mustard. They gather their trays and Dean made sure to pick up a bottle of Tabasco sauce to drown his meal in.

By the time Dean finally got his food nice and soaked Benny had managed to cut a bite of his food. Dean watched as he brought it to his mouth before chewing, and chewing, and chewing finally choking down the bit and reaching out of his water.

“That is the single blandest thing I have ever eaten. Water has more flavor than this.”

Dean just slid the Tabasco sauce over to Benny before digging in. But Private Laffite just fixed him with an unwavering stare. “All it’s going to taste like is Tabasco sauce with that much on it Dean.”

“That’s the point.”

Benny shrugged and covered his plate with red.

———

_Dear Cas,_

_Is that okay, I mean if I call you Cas? Because Castiel is kind of long, I mean not really but yeah. Anyway, my name’s Dean, Dean Winchester. And yeah, I know what you mean about wanting someone to talk to. My little brother, Sammy, went away to college this year. He probably won’t have time to write me a letter every day like he used to so…there’s that._

_Wow, I’m sorry that was probably too personal for the first letter back._

_So let me start again._

_Hello, my name is Corporal Dean Winchester. I am currently serving in Afghanistan at Camp Kaia. I would really enjoy having someone to talk to without worrying about being judged and I will strive to do the same for you. Castiel is an interesting name, what is its origin?_

_I’m sorry but I can’t do this, too stiff and awful._

_A “Dear John” letter is a letter to say you’re breaking up. We aren’t breaking up, are we? We just barely got together._

_Though my father’s name is John._

_Yeah but here let’s get a conversation going. Tell me what you think of Tabasco Sauce, Forrest Gump, and words._

_Don’t worry I have been told I have the tendency to ramble when I write._

_Talk to you soon,_

_Corporal Winchester_

———

“So you’re a military brat?” They were lying in their beds talking about their lives again. Benny leaned over the top railing of his bunk to look down at Dean.

He waved his hand in a dismissive manner but none of the others saw, the room was already pitch black. “Nah, my old man was a jarhead. I think I broke his heart when I said I was enlisting in the military.”

“Why didn’t you go into the marines,” Garth piped up.

“I hate boats even more than I hate planes. At least now I’m on solid ground.”

———

_Dear Corporal Winchester,_

_I am sorry, I was unaware that that was the significance of a “Dear John” letter. I thought it had more to do with the phrase John Doe so after you informed me I went and looked up the history. Both interesting and sad._

_Don’t worry about formalities. Though the only other nickname I have ever had was Cassie, so Cas is fine. But my first name, Castiel, is the name of the Angel of Thursday._

_Where is your brother attending school?_

_As for Afghanistan, it must be hard to be so far away from home. I haven’t been away from home for very long after I moved to my current house after high school. Though I was never one for traveling, unfortunately, work forces me to._

_As for your, let’s call it, game:_

_Tabasco Sauce: Never had it, though one of my brothers was fond of it._

_Forrest Gump: A movie I was not allowed to see as a child and honestly I hadn’t thought to watch it since I left. I will go to the store later and get it._

_Words: Since they are my life and I am currently using them I can soundly conclude that I am rather fond of them._

_Your words: Books, Religion, Family._

_Sincerely,_

_Castiel Novak_

———

Dean’s body automatically rose, his mind still steeped in sleep. His bunkmates were doing the same. His hands tucked in the sheets in practiced movements. He grabbed his shower tote and clothes for the day and made his way to the communal showers, many other people making the same walk. 

The lukewarm water helped wake him up slightly and he quickly washed his hair, pits, and privates before drying off, getting dressed, and making his way to the cafeteria.

Today they had powdered scrambled eggs, rock hard biscuits covered in white gravy with bacon. It was one of Dean’s favorites. Everyone was already at the table and they eat quickly through their fifteen allotted minutes before they had to go and prepare to head into the closest village. They were all too tired to talk, everyone still sleep hazed.

They headed out, Dean and his fireteam, Benny, Garth, and Jo. They are usually just asked to patrol peaceful villages surrounding Kaia, and that was what they were doing today.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to adopt this story let me know.


End file.
